The Drunkards Search
There’s an old joke that goes something like this:
A policeman comes up to a man on his hands and knees searching for something beneath a street light. He asks the man, “What are you doing?” And the man replies, “I’m looking for my keys.”
After some time of helping the man and not finding the keys, the policeman asked, “Are you sure you dropped your keys over here?” And the man replied, “No, I dropped them a few blocks over but the light is better here.”
This is what is popularly known as the Drunkards Search or the Streetlight effect. It’s the idea that we can sometimes look for what we want in the easiest place to look even if that place gives us a 0% chance of finding what we’re looking for.
The Drunkards Search is easy to laugh at and easier to dismiss, as if there is no way we could ever fall into such a silly situation. But, if we’re honest with ourselves, we do it all the time.
Take Tanya for example. She’s 36 and single, praying each night that God will bless her with a good husband and children. The challenge for Tanya, at least in her mind, is the lack of dateable men in her life. The guys she meets at work don’t have a faith life so they won’t work. The rare guy she meets at Church is either discerning the seminary or way too weird to be an option. Her friends are all married and hang out with other married couples so they don’t have anyone to set her up with. So, as she see’s it, she has to wait until “God drops a miracle into her life.”
Curiously though, Tanya isn’t on any of the popular dating apps or sites. She refuses to sign up for one or even explore the possibility of finding someone to meet there. Isn’t it at least possible that she has fallen prey to the Drunkard’s Search? Her work, her friends, and her parish are the street light and the dating app, the place where an eligible, normal and (hopefully) sincerely faithful Catholic man actually might be, is the place where the keys were dropped.
The problem for Tanya is, in part, the lack of good faithful men who are eligible for marriage. Certainly. But there is also a problem of where she is looking. She is looking for a husband in the safest and easiest places, not in the place where she could actually meet her spouse. She thinks she is trusting God by not being in a dating app, but the reality is, if she trusted God, she would open all of the doors He has made available to her. Tanya, would do well to ask herself some hard questions about why she really isn’t on the app.
Or, another example, is Dan. For a while now, Dan has felt a tug on his heart to make a big change in his life. He’s been at the same organization for a little over 20 years and found a good amount of success there. He’s worked hard, provided for his family, and poured a lot of his time, energy, and life into the job. But, with his first grandchild on the way and his wife wanting to retire and travel, Dan’s noticed a change in how he feels going into work each day. He’s more tired than he used to be. He doesn’t quite have the same pep in his step. And the parts of the job that used to excite him don’t anymore. In a way, Dan is bored.
Dan can’t quite retire yet. He’s done well, but not that well. Plus, he’s an active and passionate guy, he can’t imagine ever really retiring. After months of feeling this sense that he may need to leave his job and pursue something else, Dan is growing frustrated. He’s told God that he is open to leaving his job but he needs God to show him what’s next as a pre-requisite to leaving. But God hasn’t answered. He’s still in the same job, doing the same things, having the same conversation with his wife and nothing has changed. Dan thinks he’s open to God, he thinks he’s searching for the answers, but he too has fallen prey to the Drunkard’s Search.
Dan is looking for a new answer, a new path in life, underneath the streetlight of busyness and overwhelm. He works 60, 70, sometimes 80 hours a week, and still finds time to be a very attentive husband and father. Which is amazing. But the reality is, the answers he seeks are a few blocks away in the places of silence, solitude, and prayer. Dan needs more free space to explore the movements of the Spirit in his life and until then, it is going to be incredibly difficult for him to hear God’s voice speaking into his life.
The truth is, Dan is afraid of change. A part of him really loves waking up each day and going to work doing something he knows he is good at and he knows he can succeed in. The idea of change terrifies him, the idea of starting anew gives him anxiety, and if he can avoid it without having to admit that he’s avoiding it, that may just be the best case scenario.
The examples could go on an on. It’s that prevalent. But let’s talk about you to close.
Is there something missing or off in your life that’s had you searching for a long time? If so, perhaps it’s time to examine where you’re looking. Is it in the easiest place? Are you unconsciously afraid of receiving the answer or getting the very thing you want? Do you feel like you’re avoiding God for some reason?
Answering these questions and getting to the root of them can be quite difficult on your own. If I can help you process something or explore a question plaguing your heart, just email me: jack@thecatholicmentor.com
