God’s Preparation Formula

Last week I called someone I wronged 5 years ago and asked for forgiveness.

It was something that has weighed heavy on my heart for a while. And something I knew I had to do. But I kept putting it off. I didn't know what to say. I was afraid how he might receive it. But God kept saying, "It doesn't matter how he receives it. It’s the right thing to do."

So I called. He received me graciously and forgave me generously. So I expected there to be a big weight off my shoulders. And for a few hours there was. But then the unsettled sense of unfinished business returned. I reluctantly returned to prayer to follow the sense and see where it led.

And where it led was something I wasn’t expecting. God challenged me on a whole other level. He said, "Good job. Now you're ready for the next ones."

He then reminded me of three people that also deserved an apology from me. Three people who I know aren’t going to take my call, who aren’t going to receive me well. And for good reason too.

I don’t want to call them. I don’t want to take ownership of the past. I don’t want to be that vulnerable. But, the hound of Heaven is after me, and I know I have to answer the call.

That’s the annoying of genius of God isn’t it? He knew I never would have had the courage or the strength to reach out to these next three people until after making the first call. So he led me along, slowly, at the perfect pace for me, challenging me more and more to go deeper and deeper.

He worked this way when I first started praying. He asked me to pray for just a minute. Then ten minutes. Then fifteen minutes after Church on Sunday. Then thirty minutes in a quiet chapel by myself. And finally a full hour in adoration.

He did the same thing with tithing too. First it was the spare change at Mass on Sunday. Then it was $100 a year to a charity I really believed in. Then it was 1% of my yearly salary. And now he’s asking, not just for 10% of our family income, but our whole selves (finances included!)

The spiritual life, isn't easy. Our work of growth and healing is never done this side of heaven. If we’re truly locked in to God and his ways, he will constantly pull us further out and deeper in. The interior work will never be done and the horizon will always be just beyond our reach.

So say a prayer for me as I dive into the deep end of mercy. First that I have the courage to reach out to these three people and secondly that the timing and manner with which I share my heart will be a blessing for them in their life.