A Lesson From My Son
This past week, we celebrated my son’s 4th birthday. Part of me cannot believe he’s only four. And another part of me is shocked he’s already this old.
On April 6th, 2020, he made me a father. And over the course of his four years, I’ve learned a great deal from the little man. Not the least of which is the excitement and wonder seeing a plan takeoff and land can bring.
But, this past week, after much time reflecting on his life and the impact its had on me, I stumbled on this quote from the great Viktor Frankl:
“If Architects want to strengthen a decrepit arch, they increase the load which is laid upon it, for thereby the parts are joined more firmly together. So if therapists wish to foster their patients’ mental health, they should don’t be afraid to increase that load through a reorientation toward the meaning of one’s life.”
My son has had a tough beginning to his life. From the first week of his life until now, he’s experienced a series of significant physical and emotional challenges. It’s often been confusing, frustrating, and downright painful to watch someone so innocent and so sweet go through such consistent suffering.
Yet, in the midst of his many challenges, something Frankl speaks to so powerfully has emerged through his life. When Katie and I have tried to protect him from the hard things before him, when we have tried to shield him from a challenge or delayed it for whatever reason, we have done him a great disservice. But when we have increased his responsibility, when we have pushed him to do things he didn’t think he could do physically, when we have loved him enough to give him the chance to fail, it has produced fruit beyond measure.
My son, as it would seem, is like that arch. The heavier load he is asked to carry (and the less we interfere with him carrying it), the richer his character, the stronger his joy, and the kinder his soul seems to become. Moreover, the heavier load he is asked to carry, the more firmly our family is joined together in love and confidence in God.
Ultimately, the lesson my son has taught me over these four years is this: If you love someone, don’t ever rob them of the opportunity to rise to an occasion piled high with difficulty. Whether they succeed or not is almost irrelevant. The meaning and inner strength they will garner from simply trying is a gift beyond measure.
